Pale Side of Life

I’m writing to let you know…

Chad — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 16:21:00 +0000

Yesterday was essentially like any other. My daughter arrived home in the back of her mothers car carrying a wad of paper, envelopes, mailers and other assorted junk. She anxiously handed me the small jumble and proceeded to inform me exactly how many pieces of mail I received.

I just can’t wait…. yeah, whatever. I don’t remember as a kid being excited about mail, but I suppose I was. Today, it’s either a bill or it’s junk – what’s to look forward to?

But yesterday was a little different. Yesterday I received an envelope that was clearly from the U.S. Census Bureau! For weeks I’ve been anxious to see if the “Do you own a gun?” question was in fact part of the questionnaire.

This envelope seems a little skinny I thought to myself.

But I opened it because why else would I receive an envelope from the Census if it didn’t, in fact, contain the census form?

What in the world is this?

Allow me to paraphrase here (I shredded and ceremoniously burned the letter in anger, so I can’t now directly quote it): “This letter is to inform you that in about one week you should receive your U.S. Census packet.”

………………….Though you as the reader wouldn’t know it, there is supposed to be a very long pause between that last paragraph and this one…………………… I’m still trying to put into words the insanity of that letter.

Sometime today I actually started to calm down, and that’s when I had the epiphany. I think I will start sending all my friends a letter one week before their birthday. On the note will be a short sentence to the effect of….. “I’m writing this note to inform you that next week you should receive a birthday card from me.” Just to make it more fun, I probably won’t sign it or even have a return address.

I love math, but I simply don’t have the time. Someone please respond with an estimated cost of this letter. OK, fine, let me get it started. Roughly 100 million households times some slightly discounted postage. Then add in the cost of the paper, ink, envelopes, personnel, writers, facilities, electricity, fuel, etc., etc.

If it weren’t our money, it would be laughable… but it is, so it isn’t.

Misguided Faith

Chad — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 19:34:08 +0000

As my personal faith in God grows, I’m seemingly reminded more and more the words of a friend. He told me that the closer I try to get to God, the harder the devil will work to pull me back. I was reminded today of yet another reason so many people have trouble – or even hate – religion. A gentleman I chatted with mentioned his grandmother sitting in a hospital bed refusing treatment. She apparently was certain God would cure her cancer. She died, leaving behind a family undoubtedly broken by misguided faith.

I’m not an expert, but rather someone who tries to observe and learn. Did anyone in this gentleman’s family try to remind the grandmother that perhaps God’s answer rested in the skilled hands of her doctor? Or that perhaps her prayer was being answered by the fact she was offered treatment? What a travesty to see how this man reacts to “religion” because of his grandmothers illness and death. All too often we pray for something we want… what a difference it makes when we pray for God to send us in the direction He wants us to take.

I’d like to think this gentleman would view religion or faith differently if his grandmother had prayed for God’s guidance, instead of praying for what she wanted. Maybe it would not have made a difference in her life or death, but I’d like to think it would have made a big difference to the lives of her loved ones left behind.

Handbook 2010

Chad — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 07:02:03 +0000

My father sent me this list and I thought it worth passing on. Most notable to me are items nos. 5, 11, 17, and 21. We are all guilty of “the grass is always greener” syndrome. But always remember that those thoughts are only through your perspective… you have no idea if the person of your envy feels their grass is greener than yours. Chances are they don’t. Also, I’m learning through my own stubbornness that God truly is in charge if you let him. I’ve learned a few things lately… first is that God’s love is inherited and unconditional because we are his children. Second, asking God to take the wheel in your life is free will. It reminds me of the great song from Sting titled “If You Love Someone Set Them Free”. It should be enough to know God’s love that He sent his son Jesus to die for our eternal life. But He takes His love a step further by granting us the freedom to follow Him or not. What more power is there than to reign over the earth yet not force obedience? On with the list…

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray and read your Bible daily.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10.Take a 10-30 minutes’ walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don’t overdo. Keep your limits.
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree…

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least:
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about, I just did.

Who is “We”?

Chad — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 16:44:17 +0000

This was an email I received the other day:

President Barack Obama said in Turkey : “We do not consider ourselves a Christian nation or a Jewish nation or a Muslim nation. We consider ourselves a nation of citizens who are bound by ideals and a set of values.”

Do you know the Preamble for your state? . .

Alabama 1901 We the people of the State of Alabama , invoking the favor and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish the following Constitution..
Alaska 1956 We, the people of Alaska , grateful to God and to those who founded our nation and pioneered this great land.
Arizona 1911 We, the people of the State of Arizona , grateful to Almighty God for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution…
Arkansas 1874 We, the people of the State of Arkansas , grateful to Almighty God for the privilege of choosing our own form of government…
California 1879 We, the People of the State of California , grateful to Almighty God for our freedom…
Colorado 1876 We, the people of Colorado , with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of Universe…
Connecticut 1818 The People of Connecticut, acknowledging with gratitude the good Providence of God in permitting them to enjoy.
Delaware 1897 Through Divine Goodness all men have, by nature, the rights of worshipping and serving their Creator according to the dictates of their consciences…
Florida 1885 We, the people of the State of Florida , grateful to Almighty God for our constitutional liberty, establish this Constitution…
Georgia 1777 We, the people of Georgia , relying upon protection and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish this Constitution…
Hawaii 1959 We , the people of Hawaii , Grateful for Divine Guidance …… Establish this Constitution.
Idaho 1889 We, the people of the State of Idaho , grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings..
Illinois 1870 We, the people of the State of Illinois, grateful to Almighty God for the civil , political and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors.
Indiana 1851 We, the People of the State of Indiana , grateful to Almighty God for the free exercise of the right to choose our form of government.
Iowa 1857 We, the People of the St ate of Iowa , grateful to the Supreme Being for the blessings hitherto enjoyed, and feeling our dependence on Him for a continuation of these blessings, establish this Constitution.
Kansas 1859 We, the people of Kansas , grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious privileges establish this Constitution.
Kentucky 1891  We, the people of the Commonwealth are grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties..
Louisiana 1921 We, the people of the State of Louisiana , grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties we enjoy.
Maine 1820 We the People of Maine acknowledging with grateful hearts the goodness of the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe in affording us an opportunity .. And imploring His aid and direction.
Maryland 1776 We, the people of the state of Maryland , grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberty…
Massachusetts 1780 We….the people of Massachusetts, acknowledging with grateful hearts, the goodness of the Great Legislator of the Universe In the course of His Providence, an opportunity and devoutly imploring His direction
Michigan 1908 We, the people of the State of Michigan , grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of freedom, establish this Constitution.
Minnesota, 1857 We, the people of the State of Minnesota, grateful to God for our civil and religious liberty, and desiring to perpetuate its blessings.
Mississippi 1890 We, the people of Mississippi in convention assembled, grateful to Almighty God, and invoking His blessing on our work.
Missouri 1845 We, the people of Missouri , with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, and grateful for His goodness .. Establish this Constitution…
Montana 1889  We, the people of Montana , grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty establish this Constitution ..
Nebraska 1875 We, the people, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom . Establish this Constitution.
Nevada 1864 We the people of the State of Nevada , grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, establish this Constitution…
New Hampshire 1792 Part I. Art. I. Sec. V Every individual has a natural and unalienable right to worship God according to the dictates of his own conscience.
New Jersey 1844 We, the people of the State of New Jersey, grateful to Almighty God for civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors.
New Mexico 1911 We, the People of New Mexico, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty..
New York 1846 We, the people of the State of New York , grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, in order to secure its blessings.
North Carolina 1868 We the people of the State of North Carolina, grateful to Almighty God, the Sovereign Ruler of Nations, for our civil, political, and religious liberties, and acknowledging our dependence upon Him for the continuance of those…
North Dakota 1889 We , the people of North Dakota , grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, do ordain..
Ohio 1852 We the people of the state of Ohio , grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings and to promote our common.
Oklahoma 1907 Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to secure and perpetuate the blessings of liberty, establish this
Oregon 1857 Bill of Rights, Article I Section 2. All men shall be secure in the Natural right, to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their consciences.
Pennsylvania 1776 We, the people of Pennsylvania , grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, and humbly invoking His guidance……
Rhode Island 1842  We the People of the State of Rhode Island grateful to Almighty God for the civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing…
South Carolina 1778 We, the people of the State of South Carolina grateful to God for our liberties, do ordain and establish this Constitution.
South Dakota 1889 We, the people of South Dakota , grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberties ….
Tennessee 1796 Art. XI..III. That all men have a natural and indefeasible right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their conscience…
Texas 1845 We the People of the Republic of Texas , acknowledging, with gratitude, the grace and beneficence of God.
Utah 1896 Grateful to Almighty God for life and liberty, we establish this Constitution.
Vermont 1777 Whereas all government ought to enable the individuals who compose it to enjoy their natural rights, and other blessings which the Author of Existence has bestowed on man …
Virginia 1776 Bill of Rights, XVI Religion, or the Duty which we owe our Creator can be directed only by Reason and that it is the mutual duty of all to practice Christian Forbearance, Love and Charity towards each other
Washington 1889 We the People of the State of Washington, grateful to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution
West Virginia 1872  Since through Divine Providence we enjoy the blessings of civil, political and religious liberty, we, the people of West Virginia reaffirm our faith in and constant reliance upon God ..
Wisconsin 1848 We, the people of Wisconsin , grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, domestic tranquility…
Wyoming 1890 We, the people of the State of Wyoming , grateful to God for our civil, political, and religious liberties, establish this Constitution..

2010 Predictions

Chad — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 23:24:35 +0000

President and First Lady Obama will travel to Switzerland and plead with the IOC to move the 2010 Vancouver Winter Games to Chicago.

Bernie Madoff, the king of ponzi schemes, will be offered a work-release from prison, but only if he accepts President Obama’s new Social Security Czar position.

Tiger Woods will eventually wake up from his current nightmare… unfortunately he’ll be in someone else’s bed when he does.

Congress will pass, and Obama will sign, another stimulus program. This time it will benefit only Nebraska as a thank you to Senator Ben Nelson.

Al Gore, father of the internet, will blame the Bush administration for the leaked climate warming emails.

The Democrats will hold their majority in congress… in an alternate universe. Here on earth it’s not likely.

Sarah Palin and Katie Couric will tour the country performing mock interviews.

The Large Hadron Collider will in fact create a miniature Big Bang, which will collapse into a black hole which will swallow half of Europe.

Obama will hold another Jobs Summit, only this time he will only invite illegal aliens.

Tiger Woods and a handful of other prominent athletes will be paraded in front of congress to testify on the perils of allowing kids to have role models.

The Republican Party will drop the moniker GOP, which stands for Grand Old Party, and demand it be called DUD… Democrats Under Disguise.

Vice President Joe Biden will produce another 238 gaffes and one Freudian slip in which he introduces “King Obama” to a delegation of visiting school children who otherwise won’t know any better.

GM will announce bankruptcy again, prompting President Obama to run up and down the halls of the White House yelling, “Sell! Sell!”

And finally, congress will approve the pawning of the Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, and one-third of the nation’s national parks.

Bye-Bye

Chad — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 06:53:42 +0000

So long 2009! May another of your ilk never return during the life of any decendant of mine.

Here’s to much brighter tomorrows!

‘Tis the Season Prayer

Chad — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 19:09:46 +0000

Lord, please give me the strength of patience during this Christmas season. I get angry at the crowds of self-interested people and before I am aware of it I, too, become one of the people I am disgusted with. Please, Lord, show me your light during my darkest hour of dealing with insane traffic. Remind me to be happy, help my facial muscles turn my frown upside down. Lord, carry me through the seemingly endless commitments and remind me that someone out there cares that I’m in attendance. Most of all, Lord, help me to keep my eyes on your Heavenly prize, open my heart to service in Your name, and turn my head to Your will. These things I pray in the name of Jesus, Amen.

Blogger’s Note: When I started this it was tongue-in-cheek… when I finished it I discovered I really do need this prayer. Feel free to print, modify, and use yourself. Also, we pray in the name of Jesus to give authority to Him to ask the Father to act upon our prayer. Remember if the prayer does not glorify God and is not His will, there really is no point to the prayer and certainly no point to asking it in Jesus’ name. Say these words at the end of your prayer, but never say them lightly or without understanding the meaning. Refer to John 14:13-14.

Fallen Heroes. Risen King.

Chad — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:38:35 +0000

Is anyone else getting just a little tired of our “heroes”? It’s obviously in our nature to place fellow earthly inhabitants on pedestals, which is fine as long as we keep it all in perspective. But that is nearly impossible to do, especially for our children. I’m fortunate enough that my girls were too young to know much about Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan when they slipped into the abyss. But this is like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think I’ll add Taylor Swift, Hillary Duff and Miley Cyrus to my prayer list that they somehow keep their lives straight.

I’ve heard the term “fallen angel” to describe our shattered role models. What a pathetic use of words – perhaps the underpinning of our problem. We tend to elevate the greats in sports, Hollywood, music and politics to some godly height and then we’re slack-jawed when they fail. This is what we get for forgetting they are human.

I write this with some naïveté. I have rarely looked up to the typical greats as any form of role model. Tiger is a great golfer and is well-spoken, that’s it. Mel Gibson is a decent actor and an interesting director, that’s all. Taylor Swift is a good songwriter and a good performer, no more. Yes, many of these people do great things behind the scenes. Gary Sinise is a huge supporter of our troops and has launched several charities to help the people of Iraq. I hold Gary Sinise on a small pedestal, not because he is an accomplished actor, but because he uses his celebrity for positive actions in a dark world, and he does it nearly completely under the radar.

But I recognize that I’m lucky for role models – I’ve never needed to look any further than my own family. My father and grandfathers would be honored, albeit embarrassed, to know they are role models. And there lies our litmus test. A narcissist may do good things, but only for his own glory. A hero does good things and is humbled by any recognition. But let us not forget any role model is still human and thereby doomed to failure, making it all the more important to keep things in perspective. There was only one perfect human being to ever walk this earth and His story is written for all of us to read. He is my role model. Though I stumble and fall; am sometimes wicked and always with sin; am impatient and imperfect; am wasteful and often inconsiderate, am jealous and ever doubtful – Jesus has become the one I chose to follow and emulate. I am not worthy, but he accepts me anyway with the spilling of His blood. My hero fell once, too. But He rose to become my King.

Daughter’s Tears, Parent’s Lesson

Chad — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:08:15 +0000

Our daughter came home from school the other day, laid in bed and wept. She had an audition for the middle school musical and felt like she did poorly. It was one of those moments as a parent you longed for someone to rip your heart from your chest and stomp it on the floor – it would have been less painful. For a moment her mother and I were stuck in the gray area between wound licking and pep talking. We recognize to appreciate success she must know failure, but we also know our job is to raise a self-sufficient young adult who exudes empathy without judgment.

For me personally I was reminded of the importance of the father-daughter relationship. If I’m not there to fully support her she might look for it elsewhere and elsewhere will never have her best interests in mind. I did nothing to help her prepare for her audition. Life is busy and filled with distractions, but I need to remember what is truly important in life… the growth of the ones I love.

Get Around To It

Chad — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 21:02:41 +0000

If you are anything like me (you breathe air, you are human, you can read… yep, you’re a lot like me) you have said to yourself “yah I’ll get around to it”. Don’t worry, I’ve got your solution right here. Simply print this page, cut out the image below (yes you must cut out the circle) and put it in your pocket.

The next time those words leave your mouth simply reach in your pocket and pull out your round Tuit. No more excuses. You’ve now got your round Tuit, so get busy and gitrdone. Better yet, keep a few extra round Tuits in your pocket and hand them out when other people seem to have trouble motivating themselves. It might only bring a smile, but more often than not that’s all it might take to change a person’s day.

Blogger Note: This is blogger-heal-thy-self therapy.