Pale Side of Life » life

Advice from Half Dead

Chad — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 06:41:35 +0000

On the way home from school after picking up my 14 year old daughter she asked, “Well, how does it feel to be 40?”

I didn’t have an answer for her, but rather a question, “Don’t you mean from someone who is half dead? I mean if I’m really lucky I’ll live to be 80, so I’m halfway there.”

After some thought she said, “Can’t we figure out how to say that as though the glass were half full instead of half empty?”

“You’re right,” I said, “I’m half alive, not half dead.”

We quickly agreed that description was no better. But it got me thinking…. Hmmm. How do you measure your life? How do you sample your worth during this short time we have on earth?

I didn’t have long to wait for the answer. Last night I took a few moments to absorb what was assembled at my home. A small group of my family and closest friends were gathered at my home to celebrate my 40^th birthday. It quickly occurred to me that they were there to celebrate me, but I viewed it exactly opposite. Understanding that people are little more than a culmination, or summation, of their own life experience, it became very clear to me that I am who I am because of the people in my life.

It began for me by being indescribably lucky to be born into a loving, caring, Christ-centered family. The nature vs. nurture debate hasn’t been lost on me, rather I have squarely pegged my place on that scale – all my positive qualities were nurtured, all my questionable (of worse) qualities were nature. It’s not a bad bloodline thing; it’s simply that God decided to give my parents a chore for their third child. Later in life, though I didn’t know it at the time, God truly decided to pour all the grace of Heaven on me when He placed my beautiful wife into my life. I’ve always known unconditional love from my family, and I daily live unconditional love with my wife and children – but to understand what God has gifted me, long before I handed over the reins of life to Him, is to completely understand unconditional love.

That would be enough in this life, and certainly more than I deserve. But grace from above continues to poor down on me in the form of my friends. Perhaps not the people who know me most intimately, but certainly the people I interact with nearly on a daily basis. I stood in my home last night in absolute and complete admiration of all of them. Among them were people who could make me smile in the darkest of days, people who understood my life, people who know my faults but don’t care, people with unfathomable intelligence, people who seem to always have the right advice, people who never question the result but rather always seem to understand the intent, people who would reduce a dislocated shoulder simply because I asked him to, people who understand me when I don’t understand me, and people who know full-well my shortcomings but seemingly never judge them.

I have not a clue how to thank them all properly for not only being with me last night, but for being with me at all. I have much to work on in this life and it sure is a relief to know I’ve got these friends to help.

So, my advice from half dead is this: we are not meant to be solitary beings. We were created to be with one another. Fill your life with people who fill your life, and pray for those who leave voids.

God in the Center

Chad — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 17:44:49 +0000

This morning I had coffee with a Brother in Christ. The discussion led to the difficulty of putting God in control. We both concluded that being a Christian is the hardest thing we’ve ever done. I’ve sat in church for years listening to various sermons on the difficulty of being a Christian and I spend years disagreeing with that sentiment. What’s hard? I’d ask myself. These were the years as a passive Christian, a Sunday Christian, a Christian of convenience (for me), a Christian-By-Name-Only, a feel-good Christian.

In many ways I’m still all these forms of a Christian. I sin regularly and repeatedly, with forethought and spontaneously, with malice and empathy, in the open and privately. I am a man, therefore I am a sinner. But today I work on it, today I’m conscience of it, today I pray about it, today I try. And that’s probably why being on the battlefield of Christ is so much harder than sitting on the bench. I’m trying to put God in the center of my life. It’s hard. It’s very hard. But it is awesome!

Below is a link to a very interesting slide show. Thank you, Mark. I said a prayer for you.

CENTER_OF_THE_BIBLE

Handbook 2010

Chad — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 07:02:03 +0000

My father sent me this list and I thought it worth passing on. Most notable to me are items nos. 5, 11, 17, and 21. We are all guilty of “the grass is always greener” syndrome. But always remember that those thoughts are only through your perspective… you have no idea if the person of your envy feels their grass is greener than yours. Chances are they don’t. Also, I’m learning through my own stubbornness that God truly is in charge if you let him. I’ve learned a few things lately… first is that God’s love is inherited and unconditional because we are his children. Second, asking God to take the wheel in your life is free will. It reminds me of the great song from Sting titled “If You Love Someone Set Them Free”. It should be enough to know God’s love that He sent his son Jesus to die for our eternal life. But He takes His love a step further by granting us the freedom to follow Him or not. What more power is there than to reign over the earth yet not force obedience? On with the list…

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray and read your Bible daily.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10.Take a 10-30 minutes’ walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don’t overdo. Keep your limits.
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree…

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least:
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about, I just did.

Fallen Heroes. Risen King.

Chad — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:38:35 +0000

Is anyone else getting just a little tired of our “heroes”? It’s obviously in our nature to place fellow earthly inhabitants on pedestals, which is fine as long as we keep it all in perspective. But that is nearly impossible to do, especially for our children. I’m fortunate enough that my girls were too young to know much about Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan when they slipped into the abyss. But this is like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think I’ll add Taylor Swift, Hillary Duff and Miley Cyrus to my prayer list that they somehow keep their lives straight.

I’ve heard the term “fallen angel” to describe our shattered role models. What a pathetic use of words – perhaps the underpinning of our problem. We tend to elevate the greats in sports, Hollywood, music and politics to some godly height and then we’re slack-jawed when they fail. This is what we get for forgetting they are human.

I write this with some naïveté. I have rarely looked up to the typical greats as any form of role model. Tiger is a great golfer and is well-spoken, that’s it. Mel Gibson is a decent actor and an interesting director, that’s all. Taylor Swift is a good songwriter and a good performer, no more. Yes, many of these people do great things behind the scenes. Gary Sinise is a huge supporter of our troops and has launched several charities to help the people of Iraq. I hold Gary Sinise on a small pedestal, not because he is an accomplished actor, but because he uses his celebrity for positive actions in a dark world, and he does it nearly completely under the radar.

But I recognize that I’m lucky for role models – I’ve never needed to look any further than my own family. My father and grandfathers would be honored, albeit embarrassed, to know they are role models. And there lies our litmus test. A narcissist may do good things, but only for his own glory. A hero does good things and is humbled by any recognition. But let us not forget any role model is still human and thereby doomed to failure, making it all the more important to keep things in perspective. There was only one perfect human being to ever walk this earth and His story is written for all of us to read. He is my role model. Though I stumble and fall; am sometimes wicked and always with sin; am impatient and imperfect; am wasteful and often inconsiderate, am jealous and ever doubtful – Jesus has become the one I chose to follow and emulate. I am not worthy, but he accepts me anyway with the spilling of His blood. My hero fell once, too. But He rose to become my King.

The Comfort Box

Chad — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:28:06 +0000

We all have one. These are the self-imposed, imaginary boundaries which usually lie in our sub-conscious that are constantly reminding us – through anxiety, stress, peace-of-mind, etc. – of our comfort level. It comes in many forms, though there is still just one Comfort Box. It shows itself when we’re driving through an unfamiliar neighborhood. We quicken our pace, turn our head more often, look in the mirrors too much. It shows itself when we meet new people, when we attend an event for the first time, when we open our mouth to a stranger, and when we start a blog (this blog site is less than 24 hours old).

There was a catalysts about 8 weeks ago in my life that has begun to expand my Comfort Box, and its done so very acutely and with amazing speed. I may expound on this in a later post, but not now. I’ve met people in the last 8 weeks that I know I would not have otherwise… since the “epiphany” I like to call it. It turns out those people know other people, whom I’ve met and have been able to spend time with. I’ve expanded my horizons in thought, forgiveness, servitude, business and awareness. And so therefore my Comfort Box has grown… and I haven’t found a negative aspect of it yet.

The Daily Lie

Chad — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 06:07:22 +0000

As I shuffle around the garage putting various items somewhere else they don’t belong, I see my neighbor drive up and park in his driveway. We make brief eye contact and almost simultaneously raise our arms in a “man wave”-type motion. “Hey, Bob, how are you?” “I’m good, and you?” “Doing good, thanks.” Why did I just lie? It wasn’t a big lie, just a small one, but a lie nonetheless. I’m not good. I’m not bad either. But I’m not good. Work is scarce, money is tight, and politicians are telling me what they can do for me. I’d just as soon have those politicians get the hell outta my way. Maybe things are good for Bob, but I doubt it. So why keep up the daily lie?

Eternal optimism I suppose. Not hope, but optimism. Hope ushered in our current president, therefore I have no hope. But I do have optimism because I know what Americans are capable of inspite of roadblocks placed around them. So I continue the daily lie knowing someday I won’t be lying.