President and First Lady Obama will travel to Switzerland and plead with the IOC to move the 2010 Vancouver Winter Games to Chicago.
Bernie Madoff, the king of ponzi schemes, will be offered a work-release from prison, but only if he accepts President Obama’s new Social Security Czar position.
Tiger Woods will eventually wake up from his current nightmare… unfortunately he’ll be in someone else’s bed when he does.
Congress will pass, and Obama will sign, another stimulus program. This time it will benefit only Nebraska as a thank you to Senator Ben Nelson.
Al Gore, father of the internet, will blame the Bush administration for the leaked climate warming emails.
The Democrats will hold their majority in congress… in an alternate universe. Here on earth it’s not likely.
Sarah Palin and Katie Couric will tour the country performing mock interviews.
The Large Hadron Collider will in fact create a miniature Big Bang, which will collapse into a black hole which will swallow half of Europe.
Obama will hold another Jobs Summit, only this time he will only invite illegal aliens.
Tiger Woods and a handful of other prominent athletes will be paraded in front of congress to testify on the perils of allowing kids to have role models.
The Republican Party will drop the moniker GOP, which stands for Grand Old Party, and demand it be called DUD… Democrats Under Disguise.
Vice President Joe Biden will produce another 238 gaffes and one Freudian slip in which he introduces “King Obama” to a delegation of visiting school children who otherwise won’t know any better.
GM will announce bankruptcy again, prompting President Obama to run up and down the halls of the White House yelling, “Sell! Sell!”
And finally, congress will approve the pawning of the Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, and one-third of the nation’s national parks.
