On the way home from school after picking up my 14 year old daughter she asked, “Well, how does it feel to be 40?”
I didn’t have an answer for her, but rather a question, “Don’t you mean from someone who is half dead? I mean if I’m really lucky I’ll live to be 80, so I’m halfway there.”
After some thought she said, “Can’t we figure out how to say that as though the glass were half full instead of half empty?”
“You’re right,” I said, “I’m half alive, not half dead.”
We quickly agreed that description was no better. But it got me thinking…. Hmmm. How do you measure your life? How do you sample your worth during this short time we have on earth?
I didn’t have long to wait for the answer. Last night I took a few moments to absorb what was assembled at my home. A small group of my family and closest friends were gathered at my home to celebrate my 40th birthday. It quickly occurred to me that they were there to celebrate me, but I viewed it exactly opposite. Understanding that people are little more than a culmination, or summation, of their own life experience, it became very clear to me that I am who I am because of the people in my life.
It began for me by being indescribably lucky to be born into a loving, caring, Christ-centered family. The nature vs. nurture debate hasn’t been lost on me, rather I have squarely pegged my place on that scale – all my positive qualities were nurtured, all my questionable (of worse) qualities were nature. It’s not a bad bloodline thing; it’s simply that God decided to give my parents a chore for their third child. Later in life, though I didn’t know it at the time, God truly decided to pour all the grace of Heaven on me when He placed my beautiful wife into my life. I’ve always known unconditional love from my family, and I daily live unconditional love with my wife and children – but to understand what God has gifted me, long before I handed over the reins of life to Him, is to completely understand unconditional love.
That would be enough in this life, and certainly more than I deserve. But grace from above continues to poor down on me in the form of my friends. Perhaps not the people who know me most intimately, but certainly the people I interact with nearly on a daily basis. I stood in my home last night in absolute and complete admiration of all of them. Among them were people who could make me smile in the darkest of days, people who understood my life, people who know my faults but don’t care, people with unfathomable intelligence, people who seem to always have the right advice, people who never question the result but rather always seem to understand the intent, people who would reduce a dislocated shoulder simply because I asked him to, people who understand me when I don’t understand me, and people who know full-well my shortcomings but seemingly never judge them.
I have not a clue how to thank them all properly for not only being with me last night, but for being with me at all. I have much to work on in this life and it sure is a relief to know I’ve got these friends to help.
So, my advice from half dead is this: we are not meant to be solitary beings. We were created to be with one another. Fill your life with people who fill your life, and pray for those who leave voids.
