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I’ve been married for over 16 years and I was pretty sure I had things figured out. Is my marriage perfect? No way, it’s not even close. However it is wrapped in love. So after 16 years I started wondering if love is all we need to make things work, to get by, to muddle through the muddy waters or to sail on the calm seas of marriage. The simple answer is yes – the complex answer is I haven’t even scratched the surface of what love really is.
I think I can say what love is not. Love is not pride, nor jealousy. Love is not making due or settling, nor is it the other pendulum-swing of shaping to fit your needs. Love is not manufactured, fabricated or produced. Love is not at first sight – lust is. Love is not blind – hatred is. Love is not to be pondered or contemplated – it is a choice. And if you’re lucky enough to be married to a person who has made the same choice as you then you’ve got a good shot at marriage.
But to know what love really is to fully understand God. I’ve never met anyone who fully knows or understands God so by deduction I can reason that I’ll never fully understand what love is. However, I am learning more about what God gave us because of His love – His son Jesus. Can you imagine loving someone else enough to sacrifice your own son? No way! If two people are stuck in a burning building – one of whom is my daughter – take it to the bank that I’m going in for her first. If the entire world’s population is in that building; same answer.
While Jesus was here, however, he dropped us a few hints as to what love is. Pick up the New Testament and read for yourself – but the one that sticks is to love God above all things. Is he nuts? I’m supposed to love God more than my own wife? Surely that can’t be the case. Well, after 16 years I can honestly tell you that in fact, yes, that’s the case. And here’s what happened when I did: confusion, followed by testing, chased by prayer, redoubled by more confusion and counter-punched with more testing. Though this may not seem to be any fun (it’s not) I am starting to understand how we should rejoice in the test. My rejoice comes through a stronger marriage, a better understanding of my wife, a better understanding of me, and the conclusion that placing God in between me and any hurdle is the only way to ensure clearance.
So, is love enough? Yes, but not my love for my wife or my wife’s love for me. Rather the love of God and the full willingness (choice) to accept it, embrace it, rely on it and love Him back. I thought I couldn’t love another more than my wife, and I was certain I couldn’t love her more than I did. I was wrong on both counts: I love her second and I love her exponentially more than before.
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On the way home from school after picking up my 14 year old daughter she asked, “Well, how does it feel to be 40?”
I didn’t have an answer for her, but rather a question, “Don’t you mean from someone who is half dead? I mean if I’m really lucky I’ll live to be 80, so I’m halfway there.”
After some thought she said, “Can’t we figure out how to say that as though the glass were half full instead of half empty?”
“You’re right,” I said, “I’m half alive, not half dead.”
We quickly agreed that description was no better. But it got me thinking…. Hmmm. How do you measure your life? How do you sample your worth during this short time we have on earth?
I didn’t have long to wait for the answer. Last night I took a few moments to absorb what was assembled at my home. A small group of my family and closest friends were gathered at my home to celebrate my 40th birthday. It quickly occurred to me that they were there to celebrate me, but I viewed it exactly opposite. Understanding that people are little more than a culmination, or summation, of their own life experience, it became very clear to me that I am who I am because of the people in my life.
It began for me by being indescribably lucky to be born into a loving, caring, Christ-centered family. The nature vs. nurture debate hasn’t been lost on me, rather I have squarely pegged my place on that scale – all my positive qualities were nurtured, all my questionable (of worse) qualities were nature. It’s not a bad bloodline thing; it’s simply that God decided to give my parents a chore for their third child. Later in life, though I didn’t know it at the time, God truly decided to pour all the grace of Heaven on me when He placed my beautiful wife into my life. I’ve always known unconditional love from my family, and I daily live unconditional love with my wife and children – but to understand what God has gifted me, long before I handed over the reins of life to Him, is to completely understand unconditional love.
That would be enough in this life, and certainly more than I deserve. But grace from above continues to poor down on me in the form of my friends. Perhaps not the people who know me most intimately, but certainly the people I interact with nearly on a daily basis. I stood in my home last night in absolute and complete admiration of all of them. Among them were people who could make me smile in the darkest of days, people who understood my life, people who know my faults but don’t care, people with unfathomable intelligence, people who seem to always have the right advice, people who never question the result but rather always seem to understand the intent, people who would reduce a dislocated shoulder simply because I asked him to, people who understand me when I don’t understand me, and people who know full-well my shortcomings but seemingly never judge them.
I have not a clue how to thank them all properly for not only being with me last night, but for being with me at all. I have much to work on in this life and it sure is a relief to know I’ve got these friends to help.
So, my advice from half dead is this: we are not meant to be solitary beings. We were created to be with one another. Fill your life with people who fill your life, and pray for those who leave voids.
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I’ve benefited from the love of two moms.
The first nurtured me, fed me, taught me right from wrong, and loved me unconditionally. She kissed my wounds, hugged away my sadness, laughed at my jokes and pushed me to greater things. She taught me to love, to learn and to live. She taught me to have faith in God and to trust His guidance.
The second nurtures me, feeds me, teaches me right from wrong, and loves me unconditionally. She kiss my wounds, hugs away my sadness, laughs at my jokes and pushes me to greater things. She teaches me to love, to learn and to live. She teaches me to have faith in God and to trust His guidance…. and somehow she has time to do all this for my children as well.
The longer I live the more certain I am that God didn’t create Eve simply as a companion for Adam. I think He knew that Adam didn’t stand a chance without her.
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This morning I had coffee with a Brother in Christ. The discussion led to the difficulty of putting God in control. We both concluded that being a Christian is the hardest thing we’ve ever done. I’ve sat in church for years listening to various sermons on the difficulty of being a Christian and I spend years disagreeing with that sentiment. What’s hard? I’d ask myself. These were the years as a passive Christian, a Sunday Christian, a Christian of convenience (for me), a Christian-By-Name-Only, a feel-good Christian.
In many ways I’m still all these forms of a Christian. I sin regularly and repeatedly, with forethought and spontaneously, with malice and empathy, in the open and privately. I am a man, therefore I am a sinner. But today I work on it, today I’m conscience of it, today I pray about it, today I try. And that’s probably why being on the battlefield of Christ is so much harder than sitting on the bench. I’m trying to put God in the center of my life. It’s hard. It’s very hard. But it is awesome!
Below is a link to a very interesting slide show. Thank you, Mark. I said a prayer for you.
CENTER_OF_THE_BIBLE
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OK, America, let’s take a little closer look at what exactly our government has handed us in the new Health Care Reform law. I’ll go through the litany of other problems with the bill later, but now let’s just concentrate on what the government says it will cost. Then we’ll look back at other projections our government has made.
Right now the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) projects this legislation will cost $940 billion over the next 10 years. (Side note: Did you know we’re going to start getting taxed almost immediately to support this law, but the benefits won’t arrive until 2014? Do you understand that? If not, start making payments on a car now that you can’t drive for another 4 years and see if you like it.)
Oddly enough, the government itself has made my research a bit easier with this report. Here, however, are the highlights:
What/When Estimated Cost / by Actual Cost / by % Error
Medicare/1965 $12 Billion/1990 $110 Billion/1990 917%
Medicaid DSH/1987 $1 Billion/1992 $17 Billion/1992 1700%
Mass. Health Reform/2006 $472 Million/2008 $628 Million/2008 133%
I’m not sure what you’re thinking about when you read those numbers, but I’m thinking oops. So, let’s conservatively put the past record of just our federal government to its own litmus test by saying that perhaps the CBO is off by… I dunno… 1000%. That means by 2020, this neat little health care reform law will cost me, my children, you and your children $9.4 trillion dollars. I hope you’re ready because there is only a couple of ways to pay for this, and they’re both bad.
Never mind this is the single largest Constitutional overreach by our federal government in the history of this nation. On that thought, I might just make a special trip to Oklahoma, stand over the grave of my grandfather, and apologize that his sacrifices during WWII were in vain. Apparently his efforts only bought us another 65 years of a Constitution worth dying for. We really screwed up this time, America, and it might be too late.
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Yesterday was essentially like any other. My daughter arrived home in the back of her mothers car carrying a wad of paper, envelopes, mailers and other assorted junk. She anxiously handed me the small jumble and proceeded to inform me exactly how many pieces of mail I received.
I just can’t wait…. yeah, whatever. I don’t remember as a kid being excited about mail, but I suppose I was. Today, it’s either a bill or it’s junk – what’s to look forward to?
But yesterday was a little different. Yesterday I received an envelope that was clearly from the U.S. Census Bureau! For weeks I’ve been anxious to see if the “Do you own a gun?” question was in fact part of the questionnaire.
This envelope seems a little skinny I thought to myself.
But I opened it because why else would I receive an envelope from the Census if it didn’t, in fact, contain the census form?
What in the world is this?
Allow me to paraphrase here (I shredded and ceremoniously burned the letter in anger, so I can’t now directly quote it): “This letter is to inform you that in about one week you should receive your U.S. Census packet.”
………………….Though you as the reader wouldn’t know it, there is supposed to be a very long pause between that last paragraph and this one…………………… I’m still trying to put into words the insanity of that letter.
Sometime today I actually started to calm down, and that’s when I had the epiphany. I think I will start sending all my friends a letter one week before their birthday. On the note will be a short sentence to the effect of….. “I’m writing this note to inform you that next week you should receive a birthday card from me.” Just to make it more fun, I probably won’t sign it or even have a return address.
I love math, but I simply don’t have the time. Someone please respond with an estimated cost of this letter. OK, fine, let me get it started. Roughly 100 million households times some slightly discounted postage. Then add in the cost of the paper, ink, envelopes, personnel, writers, facilities, electricity, fuel, etc., etc.
If it weren’t our money, it would be laughable… but it is, so it isn’t.
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As my personal faith in God grows, I’m seemingly reminded more and more the words of a friend. He told me that the closer I try to get to God, the harder the devil will work to pull me back. I was reminded today of yet another reason so many people have trouble – or even hate – religion. A gentleman I chatted with mentioned his grandmother sitting in a hospital bed refusing treatment. She apparently was certain God would cure her cancer. She died, leaving behind a family undoubtedly broken by misguided faith.
I’m not an expert, but rather someone who tries to observe and learn. Did anyone in this gentleman’s family try to remind the grandmother that perhaps God’s answer rested in the skilled hands of her doctor? Or that perhaps her prayer was being answered by the fact she was offered treatment? What a travesty to see how this man reacts to “religion” because of his grandmothers illness and death. All too often we pray for something we want… what a difference it makes when we pray for God to send us in the direction He wants us to take.
I’d like to think this gentleman would view religion or faith differently if his grandmother had prayed for God’s guidance, instead of praying for what she wanted. Maybe it would not have made a difference in her life or death, but I’d like to think it would have made a big difference to the lives of her loved ones left behind.
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My father sent me this list and I thought it worth passing on. Most notable to me are items nos. 5, 11, 17, and 21. We are all guilty of “the grass is always greener” syndrome. But always remember that those thoughts are only through your perspective… you have no idea if the person of your envy feels their grass is greener than yours. Chances are they don’t. Also, I’m learning through my own stubbornness that God truly is in charge if you let him. I’ve learned a few things lately… first is that God’s love is inherited and unconditional because we are his children. Second, asking God to take the wheel in your life is free will. It reminds me of the great song from Sting titled “If You Love Someone Set Them Free”. It should be enough to know God’s love that He sent his son Jesus to die for our eternal life. But He takes His love a step further by granting us the freedom to follow Him or not. What more power is there than to reign over the earth yet not force obedience? On with the list…
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray and read your Bible daily.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10.Take a 10-30 minutes’ walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:
11. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don’t overdo. Keep your limits.
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree…
Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
Last but not the least:
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about, I just did.
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This was an email I received the other day:
President Barack Obama said in Turkey : “We do not consider ourselves a Christian nation or a Jewish nation or a Muslim nation. We consider ourselves a nation of citizens who are bound by ideals and a set of values.”
Do you know the Preamble for your state? . .
Alabama 1901 We the people of the State of Alabama , invoking the favor and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish the following Constitution..
Alaska 1956 We, the people of Alaska , grateful to God and to those who founded our nation and pioneered this great land.
Arizona 1911 We, the people of the State of Arizona , grateful to Almighty God for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution…
Arkansas 1874 We, the people of the State of Arkansas , grateful to Almighty God for the privilege of choosing our own form of government…
California 1879 We, the People of the State of California , grateful to Almighty God for our freedom…
Colorado 1876 We, the people of Colorado , with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of Universe…
Connecticut 1818 The People of Connecticut, acknowledging with gratitude the good Providence of God in permitting them to enjoy.
Delaware 1897 Through Divine Goodness all men have, by nature, the rights of worshipping and serving their Creator according to the dictates of their consciences…
Florida 1885 We, the people of the State of Florida , grateful to Almighty God for our constitutional liberty, establish this Constitution…
Georgia 1777 We, the people of Georgia , relying upon protection and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish this Constitution…
Hawaii 1959 We , the people of Hawaii , Grateful for Divine Guidance …… Establish this Constitution.
Idaho 1889 We, the people of the State of Idaho , grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings..
Illinois 1870 We, the people of the State of Illinois, grateful to Almighty God for the civil , political and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors.
Indiana 1851 We, the People of the State of Indiana , grateful to Almighty God for the free exercise of the right to choose our form of government.
Iowa 1857 We, the People of the St ate of Iowa , grateful to the Supreme Being for the blessings hitherto enjoyed, and feeling our dependence on Him for a continuation of these blessings, establish this Constitution.
Kansas 1859 We, the people of Kansas , grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious privileges establish this Constitution.
Kentucky 1891 We, the people of the Commonwealth are grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties..
Louisiana 1921 We, the people of the State of Louisiana , grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties we enjoy.
Maine 1820 We the People of Maine acknowledging with grateful hearts the goodness of the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe in affording us an opportunity .. And imploring His aid and direction.
Maryland 1776 We, the people of the state of Maryland , grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberty…
Massachusetts 1780 We….the people of Massachusetts, acknowledging with grateful hearts, the goodness of the Great Legislator of the Universe In the course of His Providence, an opportunity and devoutly imploring His direction
Michigan 1908 We, the people of the State of Michigan , grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of freedom, establish this Constitution.
Minnesota, 1857 We, the people of the State of Minnesota, grateful to God for our civil and religious liberty, and desiring to perpetuate its blessings.
Mississippi 1890 We, the people of Mississippi in convention assembled, grateful to Almighty God, and invoking His blessing on our work.
Missouri 1845 We, the people of Missouri , with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, and grateful for His goodness .. Establish this Constitution…
Montana 1889 We, the people of Montana , grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty establish this Constitution ..
Nebraska 1875 We, the people, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom . Establish this Constitution.
Nevada 1864 We the people of the State of Nevada , grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, establish this Constitution…
New Hampshire 1792 Part I. Art. I. Sec. V Every individual has a natural and unalienable right to worship God according to the dictates of his own conscience.
New Jersey 1844 We, the people of the State of New Jersey, grateful to Almighty God for civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors.
New Mexico 1911 We, the People of New Mexico, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty..
New York 1846 We, the people of the State of New York , grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, in order to secure its blessings.
North Carolina 1868 We the people of the State of North Carolina, grateful to Almighty God, the Sovereign Ruler of Nations, for our civil, political, and religious liberties, and acknowledging our dependence upon Him for the continuance of those…
North Dakota 1889 We , the people of North Dakota , grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, do ordain..
Ohio 1852 We the people of the state of Ohio , grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings and to promote our common.
Oklahoma 1907 Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to secure and perpetuate the blessings of liberty, establish this
Oregon 1857 Bill of Rights, Article I Section 2. All men shall be secure in the Natural right, to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their consciences.
Pennsylvania 1776 We, the people of Pennsylvania , grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, and humbly invoking His guidance……
Rhode Island 1842 We the People of the State of Rhode Island grateful to Almighty God for the civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing…
South Carolina 1778 We, the people of the State of South Carolina grateful to God for our liberties, do ordain and establish this Constitution.
South Dakota 1889 We, the people of South Dakota , grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberties ….
Tennessee 1796 Art. XI..III. That all men have a natural and indefeasible right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their conscience…
Texas 1845 We the People of the Republic of Texas , acknowledging, with gratitude, the grace and beneficence of God.
Utah 1896 Grateful to Almighty God for life and liberty, we establish this Constitution.
Vermont 1777 Whereas all government ought to enable the individuals who compose it to enjoy their natural rights, and other blessings which the Author of Existence has bestowed on man …
Virginia 1776 Bill of Rights, XVI Religion, or the Duty which we owe our Creator can be directed only by Reason and that it is the mutual duty of all to practice Christian Forbearance, Love and Charity towards each other
Washington 1889 We the People of the State of Washington, grateful to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution
West Virginia 1872 Since through Divine Providence we enjoy the blessings of civil, political and religious liberty, we, the people of West Virginia reaffirm our faith in and constant reliance upon God ..
Wisconsin 1848 We, the people of Wisconsin , grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, domestic tranquility…
Wyoming 1890 We, the people of the State of Wyoming , grateful to God for our civil, political, and religious liberties, establish this Constitution..
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President and First Lady Obama will travel to Switzerland and plead with the IOC to move the 2010 Vancouver Winter Games to Chicago.
Bernie Madoff, the king of ponzi schemes, will be offered a work-release from prison, but only if he accepts President Obama’s new Social Security Czar position.
Tiger Woods will eventually wake up from his current nightmare… unfortunately he’ll be in someone else’s bed when he does.
Congress will pass, and Obama will sign, another stimulus program. This time it will benefit only Nebraska as a thank you to Senator Ben Nelson.
Al Gore, father of the internet, will blame the Bush administration for the leaked climate warming emails.
The Democrats will hold their majority in congress… in an alternate universe. Here on earth it’s not likely.
Sarah Palin and Katie Couric will tour the country performing mock interviews.
The Large Hadron Collider will in fact create a miniature Big Bang, which will collapse into a black hole which will swallow half of Europe.
Obama will hold another Jobs Summit, only this time he will only invite illegal aliens.
Tiger Woods and a handful of other prominent athletes will be paraded in front of congress to testify on the perils of allowing kids to have role models.
The Republican Party will drop the moniker GOP, which stands for Grand Old Party, and demand it be called DUD… Democrats Under Disguise.
Vice President Joe Biden will produce another 238 gaffes and one Freudian slip in which he introduces “King Obama” to a delegation of visiting school children who otherwise won’t know any better.
GM will announce bankruptcy again, prompting President Obama to run up and down the halls of the White House yelling, “Sell! Sell!”
And finally, congress will approve the pawning of the Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, and one-third of the nation’s national parks.
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Tricky Math I am a three digit number.
My tens digit is five more than my ones digit.
My hundreds digit is eight less than my tens digit.
What number am I?
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What if…? you won the lottery, what would you do with the money? How would it affect your friendships, family, lives? Would you give some away, all away? Would you invest it, spend it, hoard it?
I am reading…
Tyndale; Tyndale House Publishers 2007
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